choosing nonchalance

by meredith murphy

I've decided there are some things in life I wish to view very lightly--  Surprising behavior from people I know; definitely the news and many world events...  And so, in this aspiration to be more easy with life, I have been exploring my experiences and realizing: nonchalance requires trust.

To be nonchalant means having an air of ease toward all of life.  It's a wonderful quality and I love even that the definition uses the word "air."  Who doesn't enjoy the experience of taking something challenging or difficult lightly?  Its such a relief!  The flip side of this is taking something tremendous and awesome lightly as well.

Oh--you weren't counting on that?  :)

The Buddha is quick to remind us of not attaching to anything--good or bad.  Or whatever--I know we're moving beyond labels, the point is, that over-identifying or holeding onto anything isn't really helpful in cultivating ease.

There is a fine line between raising our eyebrows and seeing, making adjustments to create future experience and moving on and vehemently pushing something away--thus amplifying it and engaging with it even more. 

There is also a fine line between savoring and clinging.  It all has to do with being in the flow in the moment.  For example the other day my cat, Astra, came up and I was petting her--which she was loving and I was loving--and then she walked away and I was watching her walk and I was lingering in this moment of communion we had just shared and watching her, I was surprised when she leapt to the window having seen a bird.  And I realized: that's it!  She's already moved on, and even if its only for a little bit, I'm still there--back in the past in my emotions with the experience.

I realize whenever I don't respond to life this way--with nonchalance--that it all comes down to some un-free behavior or habit, some limiting idea, some viewpoint out of sync with the source flowing within me, ultimately, with a lack of trust on my part.  Like maybe I won't get another moment like this.  Or somehow not thinking every moment can be one I can entirely enjoy.

This makes me think about washing the dishes or chopping wood--you know, all those Buddhist ideas that remind us that we can enjoy anything if we bring our full presence to it.  It's true you know. 

So I see how nonchalance requires me to consider what exactly DO I believe about life?  Do I see all moments as equal?  Do I expect each moment to be as capable of profound joy as any other?  Is the incredible expansion of channeling a message--is that experience more ripe for happiness then making coffee?  If I am an eternal divine being capable of limitless bliss, am I actually approaching life from a place trusting this to come forth and tuning into it?

Do I truly trust in my own divinity?  In the divine timing, the divine orchestration of life?  Not just as an idea, but am I living-breathing-being with this as my reality? 

Furthermore, do I truly embrace my capacity to create my experience, feeling ultimately so powerful that whatever shows up that I inadvertently created not to my liking can simply be smiled at as a reflection of my own carelessness of focus and re-shaped to my own liking?

This is the subtle meanderings of our newness flowing forth.  We realize that we are indeed capable of anything and although I choose wonder, awe, bliss, inspiration, amazement, love, abundance, clarity, focus, playfulness and many other experiences, I also too choose to have my energy in life flow through choice rather then being triggered by the reflections that catch me off guard and are not really in the vibe I want to experience.

Like Astra who knowingly plays with her reflection in the closet mirrored door, I want to play with the reflections of my state of being--noticing and when I feel inclined, adjusting. 

Choosing nonchalance toward life means not being casual but being filled with faith.  It is an essential ingredient to a peaceful heart.  Only by relating to life with a trusting cooperative approach am I able to experience the diversity of aliveness and my own countless creations with the perpetual eye of a powerful creator and enjoy it all.

Playfulness is a wonderful and essential part of life, a luxury that all of us have access to.  Choosing nonchalance and empowerment for me brings forth a playfulness to life that I find helps me have fun, relax and in this state of relaxation ideas, connections, energy and clarity flow forth in abundance.  I am also learning that I can trust in this--by continually choosing my state of being I remain in a perpetually creative vibration that yields moment after moment of joy.  Wow. 

The value of self-trust is obvious.  Experiencing it deeply is another thing.  I am learnign it may be cultivated--by keeping my word and commitments to myself, which first of all means making commitments with care--considering if I am truly want to make this choice and live it.  The more I keep my word to myself, and live my life making my own happiness and joy the first priority, the greater self-trust I experience. 

How are you at trusting yourself, the Universe, life in general?  And what helps you to feel this feeling, deepen it, identify with it, and literally become it?  If that interests you.  It certainly interests me, and I'd love to hear from you on what your experience is.

Nonchalance for all!  Yes indeed.  Well for anyone that's interested anyway--that's my intention today.  In my world ease is definitely IN. 

Comments

[Elizabeth]

Very good, very true Meredith... taking life with a casual air and grace that all is ok as it is regardless of appearances.... on both sides of the coin of course....self trust is absoulutely a cultivated quality, very worthy and very beneficial... being nonchalant tends to take the attachment out of experiences which one could otherwise keep one swinging like a pendulum...

Loving YOU as the One Heart.
Elizabeth xx

[Meredith Murphy]

Elizabeth, I love that you mention the pendulum! As we move out of duality into perpetual wholeness, we phase out of this type of swinging back and forth...I have been thinking about the pendulum as a metaphor for that! Thank you! Love!

[Cdaniellefly]

This helped me a lot!! You used such great key words that I can actually APPLY. Trust has been a real issue, so this is so valuable to me. I love this-"Like maybe I won't get another moment like this. Or somehow not thinking every moment can be one I can entirely enjoy." I have been so insecure, really wondering on several levels whether I will get more joyous moments! OMG! Ahh, so good to see this in a more experiential way!! Now I get to play with KNOWING I will have more joy, and more joy!! Mwah!!!

[Meredith Murphy]

Beautiful! Im so happy this is USEFUL for you...Im a mid-western girl, you know (born and raised in Michigan) and I like things to be practical! Why not? Its our lives here were exploring! Love to you...

[linda roberts]

Love Astra's demonstration of being totally in the moment. Thank you for sharing such powerful examples that help all of us to "get it" on a deeper level. That deep sense that "All is well" is so much a part of my cellular make up these days as well as the detachment that I float in a new space of freedom. I breathe, I expand into my starry nature and KNOW that the universe is benevolent and wanting to support me on every level. As I want to flow the love out from my heart, our Creator wants to flow it into my being. Being in the flow, expanding into my essence.......all loosens and lets go.

Nonchalance......what a perfect word! I am so loving how I am finding new meanings for words. Thanks for giving us a new look at this one! You rock sister!

[Kate I]

As I'm learning, ease is a choice, as is trust. Sometimes it's moment by moment but it's a learned behavior and gets easier as I stay the course. Practicing non-attachment and nonchalance seems almost to be a natural next step.

I love (nonchalantly, of course, lol) the process of this growth, and the peace that I'm creating in my life. Blessings to you Meredith.

[Meredith Murphy]

Kate :)
Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. Its true--practicing that which we wish to exude and be naturally, is the way. Loving you!

[Meredith Murphy]

Linda, I SO love this, I breathe, I expand into my starry nature and KNOW that the universe is benevolent and wanting to support me on every level. - YES. Love to you and youre most welcome. -Meredith